We have just completed a full frontal optical scan. We've cloned your unique retinal cell layout and uploaded your image to our servers. Within the next three minutes, we will run an FBI identity check and cross reference all findings with the Wisconsin branch of the KGB.

If you are “Wanted” we will turn you in and collect the bounty. If you’re unwanted, you have our sympathy. Don’t give up, there’s someone out there for everyone. You just haven’t found them yet.

:: What information do we collect and how do we use it?
All of it and however we see fit.

:: How does JesseJames Creative protect customer information?
Tyler, guard dog extraordinaire, is on the case providing round the clock protection for our customers’ information. Tyler is very dedicated to her mission.

:: What are cookies and what do they do?
Cookies are a delicious baked good. Available in a variety of flavors ranging from chocolate chip to oatmeal raisin to peanut butter. Frosted cookies such as the “black and white” and the cream filled “sandwich cookie” are also quite tasty. All will make you fat. Beyond that, we’re not saying.

:: Will JesseJames Creative share the information it collects with outside parties?
Absolutely.
We’ll sell your information to the highest bidder at the drop of a hat. And we don’t just mean to folks compiling mailing lists. We’ll sell it to anyone. Illegal aliens in search of a citizenship. Mobster turncoats looking for a fresh start. Mad scientists in need of identities for their secret army of cloned humans. You name it. If they’ve got the cash, we’ll sell you out faster than you can say “Give me back my life.”

:: How does JesseJames Creative protect the privacy of minors?
JesseJames is committed to protecting the privacy of impressionable young children. Which is why when we catch one researching bomb building techniques or looking at adult material online, we tell no one. We respect their privacy.

Have a nice day. And by the way...nice shoes.

:: Your Consent
By using our web site, you consent to the collection and use of your private information by JesseJames Creative. You consent to enter into a long term retainer-based relationship with JesseJames Creative. You consent a series of painless psychological experiments including but not limited to studies involving sleep deprivation, phobia confrontation and isolation. You consent to dress like an infant, act like a monkey and cluck like a chicken on the third Saturday of every month. If we change our privacy policy, we will post those changes on this page so that you are always aware of how we are watching you.